It’s the Step 2 Doorway Playhouse and it gets 4 big thumbs up from us. This unit is around $220 AUD in stores though if you look carefuly you can get them cheaper. Ours was $149 AUD from www.playdex.com.au and arrive the next business day. This one is worth every cent.

It takes only minutes to set up and only a few more if like me you have dismantled one side of a playpen and set the door up at the front with your Dora Kitchen inside like a little house.

This one is a big winner. It can be used in a doorway or stand alone, whichever works for you and the little mail slot is great for posting things inside.

Now, normally I am a big fan of the old Fisher Price brand, however I seem to have found the exception to the rule. It’s the Fisher Price Croc Tunnel which usually retails for around $50 here in Australia though you can find it on sale from around $20. I bought it for $19 and yet still it was not worth the money.

The Croc Tunnel looks lovely and stable in images though when you get it home and set up the tunnel has not hard brackets on the floor section so the material gets caught up under little knees and more often than not ends up flipping over.

It is designed for babies for are strong enough to lift their legs up when they crawl and yet small enough to not want to go sideways, touch anything around them, be interested in the walls at all, move in any direction fast or weight more than air.

Basically if your baby doesn’t end up on their head or arse in the first ten minutes, your doing well. For us and many others from what I have seen, The Croc Tunnel often ends up in tears… and on ebay.

These are fun and easy for your toddler to hold. Crayola have come up with a new “Beginnings” line aimed directly at toddlers and young kids. The Line includes a washable set, a bath set, markers, stamps and a few others.

Here is Oz they are around $14 or so and just fantastic. Buy your baby a hard cover note book and let them draw (or scribble) a few times a week, then you can watch them get better and better throughout the book.

Crayon Buddies are cool, fun and easy for little hands to hold, and surprisingly very difficult for big hands to hold. That should keep big borther, sister or.. Dad from taking over your toddlers artistic designs.

I know what you’re thinking, this may be one of the ugliest designs as far as “cute kids” things go that ever existed. I know.. the one I have is Yelow with dogs and not much better. However, this my fellow mess clean-er-upper-ers, is genius.

It’s called a thermal cup from Villeroy & Boch and this design is the “Meow Wowwow” though it does come in a few other designs at around $25 – $35.

Here’s the thing though… it doesn’t spill. Fill it with water or juice for the kids or use as a saftly cup when you’re on your sixth or seventh glass of wine for you, either way, tip it, shake it, rattle it, open it or close it.. you won’t get more than a drop out of it unless you mean to.

They also make a few similarly designed cups for kids which we will be test driving shortly but this one is a winner and perfect for the car or dinner or any of those times when you need an extra hand to prevent a spontanious flood of upturned drink. The Meow Wowwow is for you.. and lets face it, addivtive to say.

It’s going to be a bumpy ride but you will get there eventually. The key to being a parent? realising that you’re making it work even when you will never feel like you are.

For all of those who have been around since the beginning, here is the 12 – 18 Months top ten, for any newcomers, this is what you have to look forward to.

1: You’ve felt a pea being pushed into your ear for the first time since you were a toddler.

2: You will spend more time talking on your child’s plastic flower phone to made up people than you will on the real phone. The kicker is that it doesn’t take very long before you start having quite long and meaningful discussions with yourself on it.

3: The phrase “aww that’s so cute” has been replaced with “Hey! NO! Stop Doing that!”

4: If you thought the never ending drone of the sing song Fisher Price voices were irritating wait unil your toddler decides to use (any) toys as banging objects and furniture weaponry. It’s just more fun if your shape sorter is singing “.. shapes are in my cookie jar..” whilst being dropped from a great height or pressed and dragged across perfect floorboards or leather furniture.

5: If you have pets you will find yourself up against of whole miriad of disgusting phrases that if people who don’t have a toddler could hear, would think you were just really funny. “Don’t lick the dogs mouth”, “Don’t touch the cat’s bum”,

6: You’ve uttered “The baby did it!” and meant it. It’s around this time when your criminal career may begin as Baby decides that in all manner of split second opportunities, they will steal something off a shelf of a supermarket or store and hide it in whatever fabric around them will cover it up. If you have found a half nibbles grape or crayon under your baby’s dress when you’re packing the grocories in the car then you’re not alone.

7: What is yours… is theirs. And this means no longer yours until they decide to discard it. At this point (if not destroyed) it is yours  until they see / hear / sense that you have it again, at which time, once more it will no longer be yours.

8: A little voice calls out a tongue tied half whisper of “mum mum?” and you fall in love all over again each and every time.

9: You spend your afternoons together paying very close attention to pointing out everyones nose. There is Straberry Shortcake’s nose, there is Dora’s nose..

10: It’s not all so scary though.. You Know You’re A Parent When your toddler walks up to you, smiles, puts there little arms round your neck and gives you a kiss. ..

… Of coarse it’s a little more awkward, I didn’t mention the stumbling on the way over, almost hair pulling  at the back of your neck and missing your mouth whilst sticking out their tongue at the last minute for the kiss. But you get the idea..

It’s been a few months but we are back in action! Baby has now turned one! I’m sure we’ll have an action packed year ahead and looking forward to sharing with everyone along the way. 

Thanks for hanging around!

Zoe

1: Your baby can now chew up food, then take it out of her mouth with slimey little fingers and insist on feeding it to you.

2: You’ve accidently referred to yourself in third person as Mummy when you child wasn’t there. instantly you can judge the background of those around you. Non Parents will think your either stupid or kinky, fellow Parents either won’t blink an eye or assume you were talking about “Mummy” them, not not “Mummy” you.

3: You can recognise the “I’m Pooing” noise in other children in public.

4: Your child can now try and tickle you back, not realizing that we don’t all have the ability to wee endlessly in our pants without consequence.

5: You’ve “Shh” ‘d your child because you couldn’t hear the end of the Strawberry Shortcake episode.

6: Instead of humming the latest hit from the charts in the shower you now find yourself throwing in a high note or two singing “Winnie the Pooh”.

7: Your baby now finds it hilarious to nipple cripple you at every possible opportunity, at this point you can only long for the day decades away when her daughter does this back to her.  

8: You’re now so in tune with the household toys that you can intuitively tell when your child makes one of them sad or lonely and needs to come over and give them a cuddle instead of trying to open the bin and feed the rubbish to the dog.

9: You’ve been told “no” by a person who still counts their age in months. 

9.5: You’ve begun mastering the art of keeping a straight face when all you want to do is laugh. 

10: You find that you don’t have a baby anymore. You have a helper.

You Know You’re A Parent When:

1: You find yourself giving some other guy advice on child proofing his kitchen whilst standing in the hardware store

2: You now shop in the “Kids” section rather than the “Baby” section of department stores. it doesn’t take long before you realise two disturbing things about children’s fashion. A: Knee high boots and bikinis shouldn’t be made that small. B: All the kids wear is better looking and better made than that adult stuff.

3: Now you have finally started being able to have your own breakfast and lunch without sharing your baby’s from lack of time and energy when your baby now starts stealing half of yours!

4: “It’s a duck, it’s a boat, it’s a bath toy!… NO, it’s a floating turd!” That’s correct. She’s never done it before and all of a sudden your baby will develop strange new habits like deciding to do her number 2’s when she is in the bath. The Learning curve never seems to straighten out.

5: Baby talk. Talking to your baby at this age is a lot like talking to an adult that doesn’t speak English. They tend to cling to a phrase and nod a lot.

Mum: Do you want to go on the Swings?

Baby: Pie Pie!

Mum: No we can’t go on the slide it’s wet

Baby: Pie Pie?

Mum: It’s ok, we can come back another day

Baby: (Nods) Pie Pie…

Then when you least expect it..

Mum: Lets get ready for bed.

Baby:…. Bottom Pond.

….. ? Who can say, the wonders of children at 11 months old.

Anyone who can recognize any one of the three possible problems in this title is in for a treat. In the words of everyones favourite Golden GIrl, “Picture This…”

It’s July in Australia and although in many parts of the world this means beaches and re-runs, here it translates to cold winds and winter skies. What’s that you say? Fine time to renovate? Indeed.

When our shower started detaching from the wall and the brown carpeted floor (hello sixties) started to rot the word “renovate” was making its debut, being tossed about with such simplicity and ease. It was a time of excitement, wonder and nerves. All the things that could be ahead of you, your first chance to ditch the original pink toilet, bath and stained wooden sink. You start looking online and in catalogs; in the back of your mind thinking it’s odd they don’t list prices but being overwhelmed by how white and clean everything looks.

Then someone drops the “P” word. No, I don’t mean price, that one is still to come. It’s the dreaded “P” word that should never be said around the innocent or fragile.

Port-a-loo.

The idea of peeing (or worse) in the same box that other people have paid to pee in (and worse) before you sends shivers up your spine and, ironically, makes you want to pee your pants. Sadly, such is the life of a one bathroom family household and what needs to be done, simply needs to be done. You recover from the anxiety attack also known as the quote and at some point you bite the bullet and kick things off. Port-A-Loo here we come.

It arrives early one morning on the back of a truck in all it’s glory, only moments before my old toilet, once hated and now for these fleeting moments treasured in it’s final hour, is removed with the use of power tools and loud banging. No turning back now. At first it’s not so bad, it all feels as though it’s going to be ok and like a child who thinks they will be a kid forever, I am convinced I might not need to use it that much at all.

In a matter of 20 minutes, the baby disgraces herself, the cat has decided now is the perfect time to get in her annual puke run on where she deposits little packages of last nights food all over the house and i drop something on the kitchen floor. Jeopardy music runs through my head and I list all the resources I do not have for these couple of hours. No Shower, no sink, no water, no electricity & no third arm. I’m now also dirty AND I need to pee. It is day 1, hour 2 of 14 days to come.

The days roll over and there is no amount of describing how revolting and off putting it is. Trekking up your backyard to the port-a-loo, torch in hand, carrying your own roll of toilet paper so as to not be sharing with the 4 workmen also using it, in the freezing cold and dark. About a week into the renovation the temperatures start to drop and news programs start getting all excited with terms like “coldest night of the year” and “record rainfall..” Awesome Port-A-Loo weather. Suddenly I find my self having to dress up in a coat and extra pants just to use a toilet. Just to reiterate, I have a Loo outfit now. I feel pretty.

The extremely high level of noise comprised of tools, working, singing and radio has seen me shuttling the baby back and forth between here and my mothers house an hour away. This is excellent drive time to reflect on all the things I should be worrying about and should have done differently. I find myself using this time to make semi abusive phone calls to suppliers who haven’t come good with deliveries or replacing faulty items all seconds before throwing a smile on my face and greeting my bouncing baby at the door. It’s 7pm and she looks at me with that look that says ‘ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY’.

Tiles, builders, babies, dogs, cats, husbands, and a full time job. What kind of moron was I signing up for this? Just now as I use the torch to navigate the backyard with the dog turds and blown over trees, giving up on not getting wet and frozen in the rain and gale force winds, it pains me to think I voluntarily signed up for this. If one more person tells me it will be worth it when it’s finished I will be featured on the news for beating someone to death with the obvious stick. Just let me complain people!

Baby seems to now be enjoying taking her nightly bath in the laundry sink, my husband and I have given this a go ourselves and can’t say we think it is quite as enjoyable. Between the hygiene in the house and emergency bucket in the laundry it’s all so blissful. The bucket is for those few middle of the night post- baby, weak bladder moments when I can’t make it from the bedroom, around the house, through the balcony, outside, down the stairs, through the backyard, up the hill to the top terrace and into the loo in time. And that’s without leaving time to take non hypothermic precautions. You don’t see any of this in the picture catalogs. It’s all bubble baths and glasses of wine. Show me the dog turns and emergency buckets of reality!

It’s funny in a way. After a certain point we spend out whole lives trying to slow time down. Turns out all you need to do to stop time is renovate your only bathroom. The end date just gets pushed back further and further and further and time seems to stand still. If only the hair on my legs and underarms would take a que from this and do the same.

Day 10, Port-A-Loo visit #27, To Be Continued.

You Know You’re A Parent When:

1: You have woken up in the middle of the night convinced you have forgotten to do the battery run before bed. You get up and go around the house searching for the 6 odd new fangled toys that have fun LIGHTS and SOUNDS (to a parent this just means.. batteries) that haven’t been switched off during the day, only to find that they in fact have been switched off and you are now just cold and awake at 3am

2: You’ve said the words “fine, here, try some then, you won’t even like it!” to a little person with outstretched arms and a ‘why don’t you love me enough to give me some’ look on their face. Problem is, this backfires. Turns out babies like soda water and cheese on toast and paddle pops and sugar free iced tea.. the list goes embarrassingly on. Now you just have to share.

3: You and your baby have sniffed a stuffy sick nose sniff simultaneously.

4: The thoughts of morning sickness, brain frying twitchy leg (RLS), not being able to even look at any of your favorite foods, drinks or pastimes (thank you pregnancy fun police) and the final, mind numbing pain of childbirth with a botched epidural no longer over ride the want to do it all over again and have another one.

5: Your pretty confident that your baby would leave you for Strawberry Shortcake. And we thought all we had to worry about was our husbands when (never) Angelina comes to town…

You Know You’re A Parent When:

1: You go to insert a disc into your computer for a presentation and in front of your whole office, The Strawberry Shortcake DVD pops out.

2: You spend 40 minutes in th supermarket doing your grocery shopping then spend the next 40 minutes searching every aisle for the baby’s favourite toy that has now gone missing. Once you give up, feel like the worst parent in the world and try not to cry it all out to the 13 year old behind the checkout, you find the toy buried in the trolley under the (now) thawed frozen goods. Thank you baby for rearranging the trolley when i wasn’t looking.

3: You find your first baby allergy.

4: You’ve become violently ill from something you caught from your bubba and had to admit you were unable to take care of them yourself. Your heart breaks a little bit in between vomits.

5: Your so used to carrying everything at once that you’ve walked a little too far away from your car before realising you were still carrying the dummy (pacifier) in your mouth.

6: You’ve verbally attacked someone in a parents parking lot for having no baby. BTW to the cock head taxi driver that parked next to me at the supermarket in the last Parents spot and then proceeded to pull out the newspaper while a mother with a brand new baby circled the car park in the rain, go fuck yourself.

7: You’ve verbally abused and “outed” people at random about parent issues on the internet.

8: Anyone who says “it took nine months to put the weight on, you should give yourself nine months to get the weight back off” can now also go fuck themselves. 9.5 Months and counting…

9: You know how it feels to have baby vomit in your socks and through your pants while your still wearing them. It’s at this age that they have the volume to be able to do that much damage.

10: Daddy Submission: You’ve spilt something without a hand to spare and have found yourself using your baby to clean it up.

Dare I say it… Fisher Price. It’s the Amazing Animals™ Tubtime Tugboat™ and it’s the coolest bath toy I have seen so far. The tug boat floats perfectly in the bath so that it is submerged enough for to balance in the water and not tip over every time your baby breathes.

The animals are fantastic, the walrus and the seahorse fill with water so when your baby drops them in the water the walrus will float with most of it’s head above the water and the seahorse is sit entirely under the water but float upright and it moves through your bath. This may sound trivial but when you have seen lots of mediocre toys, it’s impressive.

Seriously, the Seahorse sits just under the water! it doesn’t float to the top on it’s side like a dead goldfish or sink to the bottom like rock.

The fish just floats in the water while the octopus and lobster sit on the bottom of your bath where baby can reach around and find them. Very cool.

The boat is awesome and you will have a lot of fun taking the animals our and then stacking them back in again. It’s cheap and available everywhere… If you are looking for bath toys, this is it. And I dare you not to consider playing with it when you have your own bath.

So, when it comes to food in the supermarket there are many bright colourful options. There are a few things that you consider, Does it look pretty? Does it sound tasty? Does it sound like something I would like?

Really, none of this matters… none of the answers to questions above will make your baby like it any more or any less.

One day I was looking through the organic foods (since they were on sale) and I decided to give something a whirl that would have otherwise never made it into my shopping cart

Heinz Organic Oats, Figs & Sultanas.

Before baby tried it, I nibbled on the edge of the spoon and found it to be a little tart and surprising. I had guaranteed myself that baby would make sure that more of it got smooshed into the high chair seat than actually got swallowed.  None the less, we all must try new things, so in it went.

First spoonful…. frown, confused face and lots of mouth moving. Then, … a hopeful look crossed her face as she opened her mouth again without the next full spoonful in sight. I quickly loaded it up again and gave it to her. Little by little the confused face disappeared and was replaced with impatience that she wasn’t getting enough, fast enough.

Basically this one is the kicker. I get a ton of these and leave them in the cupboard because when she is tired and cranky and won’t eat her dinner, she will always, without fail, eat this one. Give it a go.. Trust me.

You Know Your A Parent When:

1: Your breakfast is now the other half of the pureed apples.

2: You now posses the skill of making up whimsical songs at the drop of a hat, using any kind of baby food or toy as descriptive lyrics.

3: You’ve had pumpkin in your eyes and up your nose.

4: You’ve realised it takes a degree in biomechanics and physics to get a baby shoe on a baby foot and a masters degree if you want to keep them on there.

5: You know the least creeky path across your floorboards from your bedroom to baby’s room in the middle of the night. And then a bonus route to the bathroom.

6: You now have your own personal live in supermarket of cleaning products. There are an assortment of stain removers in your laundry for different kinds of food, a storage container full of different types of wipes for bum, hands, face.. etc. Different baby wash for shower when it washes away, and a gentle one for bath when baby tends to get it on toys and then put them in her mouth.. If only you have the convenience of supermarket aisles and 14 year old shelf stackers.

7: You could write a book about baby poo.

8: You’ve been suckered into at least one baby competition where you have to collect an obsurd number of something, then send them in for a prize.

9: A messy, unwashed pony tail or bun is the new black… you hope. Shiny, well done hair is only something you dream about.

10: You’ve played with the baby toys in the bath, when you didn’t have the baby with you.

1: Your idea of gambling now days is to put different coloured dummies in front of your baby and see which one she will skillfully place in her mouth.

2: You finally realise just how much your own parents love you.

3: Your baby has nipple crippled you on purpose then laughed.

4: It takes two adults to clean off your baby after having a biscuit.

5: You go on a “shopping spree” and don’t come back with anything for yourself.

6: You spend 10 minutes feeding your baby and 30 minutes cleaning the puree peas out of her nose and ears.

7: Your dog makes sure that when she comes to visit you and your baby, she keeps her head away from little hands.

8: Your baby has done at least ten things that you could have sworn she would never be old enough to actually do.

9: You have to imagine that you are the host of Dirty Jobs just to get through some nappy changes.

10: You find your baby, having removed her own nappy, thinking that kicking it around the cot is the funnest thing ever.

You know you’re a parent when:

1: You and baby just share her food for lunch.

2: You know which smile means “i just pooped”.

3: Your baby sees more of you naked than your partner does.

4: Out of desperation, you would even watch The Simpsons if it meant you could sit down for 10 minutes alone.

5: When juggling the names of dog, cat, baby and husband all at once, you’ve mixed them up more than a few times.

6: You now know how stupid the material insert that came in your high chair is, and have thrown it out with an escaped giggle. Soft, absorbent material… those baby furniture people are so funny.

7: You pimp out your dog to keep baby occupied and entertained when she is grumpy.. All your doggy wants to do is get away from the annoying miniature person and instead you keep calling her back for more help.

8: Motorbikes, coffee, face masks and sleep ins… ? I don’t know the language you are speaking.

9: You now have “tricks” only they aren’t as cool as tricks you imagined growing up as a kid. I may not have x ray vision, but damn straight I can tell you when a bottle is too hot without tipping it all over my arm.

10: “All you need is love…” and a nappy, and a wipe, and a bottle, and  baby food, and a sippy cup and sterile water, and a dummy, and a spare dummy, and a change of clothes, and a car toy, and a stroller toy, and a high chair toy and a blanket and a cloth. And that’s just to leave the house for an hour.

There is a certain little girl on the loose who has just figured out that she can move her mouth and make noises come out. Intentional noises too, not just the involuntary squeaks and squeals that come out when she is excited. Lily has spent all day for the last few days traveling around the house on her human transportation ride (aka Mummy) opening and closing her mouth like a fish going, ha bap bap bap.

If you too have been secretly sitting her in the bath sining Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, hoping to win the ‘whose name will she say first’ bet with your partner, then you’ll understand my predicament. When baby is talking, when does it count? She already says “mum” every now and again but when does she say it knowing what it means?

Of course since in this case we are talking about the word “mum”, Daddy has taken the stance that it doesn’t count and as expected I am convinced it does in fact count AND it means she is the smartest baby in the world. Obviously. So when do you get the the point where you write in the baby book what her first words are?

I guess we will have to wait and see. TBC….

Throughout your pregnancy and then baby gifts, you will have now accumulated a decent amount of bibs. Let me start this by saying even though this looks like enough for 30 children, it won’t be enough for your one. Unfortunately to a new parent it can take a while before you know which ones are shit and which ones are worth using. Lets cut that wait time right out for you and tell it like it is.

Shit bibs:

Little short cutesy ones are bad because they will end up everywhere but where you want baby to be covered. They act as more of a spreader than a protector.

Bibs that do up right behind the head. Crap! Babies move a lot and being about to velcro something in place on the side of the neck is 100 times easier than the back of their head.

Fabric bibs, they look cool but most of them time they are made out of fun material that just lets everything roll down the front of it,absorbing nothing and landing on your babies pants instead. They just transport the food from one location to another and don’t save anything.

Not Shit Bibs:

Pull over bibs… YAY! Yes your child will pull a face when you start putting them on, but that little elastic material that fits around the neck is the perfect balance between not chocking baby and sealing that gap where food escapes down the back of the bib (more frequently that you ever thought possible).

Big giant ones! They look enormous and most likely will scare you off for a while because they are the same size as your child but it takes a few months to realise, this is what you want! Maximum coverage and they CAN come in cute designs.

Really soft ones are usually great for absorbing liquid. What you want is a material that turns a darker colour when wet that way you know the drool or milk or food, is really getting caught in there. Most of the ones that don’t do this, even a little are just going to let what ever your trying a avoid, roll down the front.

So which ones do you buy?

Big Softies, I know this is a tiny picture but it’s the best I can find after an hour of googling. Can you believe “googling” is a verb now? Anyway, you can find them in Woolworths, Target, Kmart.. etc.. Everywhere. They are cheap and excellent. Get the pullover long ones and you will be happy as Larry.. especially since Larry’s baby will be very clean.

Like most things, Jolly Jumper is just something that you can never picture your first tiny baby being big enough to use. Sure enough, there will come a time when they are big enough and when this day comes, go and spend you $60 on the jumper along with $30 on the musical mat and don’t question it, just have faith.

I write this to you all now while hearing my own baby cackling away in the lounge room, strapped into her jumper and setting off all the musical spots on her mat time after time finding it no less amusing the 200th time.

A slight warning, the mat is adult proof. What does this mean? It means that like most things, we as parents will rush home and pull our baby purchases out of the packaging eager to try them out.. Not by strapping in baby, but by trying them out ourselves. I am sure that I was not in the minority when I got home and tapped the Jolly Jumper mat with my hand and thought.. well, this is shit. However, I persisted and the next time I hooked up baby it turns out that the 3 sensors the mat has in fact has her playing music a lot of them time, and are perfectly positioned to keep her occupied for a long time.

Who would have thunk it? They knew better than I did…

Give baby a few goes to learn how to use her Jolly Jumper, even help them by pulling the spring and helping them jump, soon enough she’ll get the hang of it, (and after twice that amount of time you will get the hang of strapping her into it) but it will be one of the best non Fisher Price investments you will come across.

Let the jumping begin.

1: You either say out loud or almost say out loud, I wonder what this years fisher price theme will be…?

2: You start eating your own food out of the baby’s cups.

3: You attack the supermarket nappy sale like it’s a discount sale at Ralph Lauren… Only, it’s not. They are still just nappies and you’re still wearing clothes from K-mart.

4: OK, other way round, you actually end up eating the left over baby food out of your own cup instead. If you’re one of those parents who has already started the solid food, you can sometimes hear “here it comes, open up, here comes the apple train” with every spoonful you eat too.

5: Your top three people your allowed to leave your spouse for now includes Brad Pitt,  JFK Jnr and the person who invented Jolly Jumper.

6: No matter how annoyed or frustrated you are at the world, there is that one little smile that can light up your whole world and make you forget your plan to rid the world of people who can’t drive with a combination of Macgyver style booby traps and Walker Texas Ranger style of law enforcement that you really have no claim to.

7: There is no more Mr Nice Parent at the shopping centre… I will sneak past you in the line, I will speed up and get the number before you in the deli and if I have driven two hours to get to fucking Ikea, I will creep up and listen when you ask where the wall brackets are then when I hear where they are and there are two left, run to them and take them before you even see me. I am busy, I am tired, I am… Ninja Parent. (waiting on my throwing knives I sent away for in the back of Parenting Weekly too, so look out.)

8: Valentines Day plans include Iron Chef and a Mars Bar.

9: You start sentances with “My daughter…” without flinching and wondering if your allowed to say stuff like that yet…

10: One of you starts thinking about the next one.