You Know Your A Parent When:
1: Your breakfast is now the other half of the pureed apples.
2: You now posses the skill of making up whimsical songs at the drop of a hat, using any kind of baby food or toy as descriptive lyrics.
3: You’ve had pumpkin in your eyes and up your nose.
4: You’ve realised it takes a degree in biomechanics and physics to get a baby shoe on a baby foot and a masters degree if you want to keep them on there.
5: You know the least creeky path across your floorboards from your bedroom to baby’s room in the middle of the night. And then a bonus route to the bathroom.
6: You now have your own personal live in supermarket of cleaning products. There are an assortment of stain removers in your laundry for different kinds of food, a storage container full of different types of wipes for bum, hands, face.. etc. Different baby wash for shower when it washes away, and a gentle one for bath when baby tends to get it on toys and then put them in her mouth.. If only you have the convenience of supermarket aisles and 14 year old shelf stackers.
7: You could write a book about baby poo.
8: You’ve been suckered into at least one baby competition where you have to collect an obsurd number of something, then send them in for a prize.
9: A messy, unwashed pony tail or bun is the new black… you hope. Shiny, well done hair is only something you dream about.
10: You’ve played with the baby toys in the bath, when you didn’t have the baby with you.
