Ok so I am a few days late with this weeks You Know You’re A Parent When Top Ten.
1: You have a neighbor’s two year old over and realise how NOT ready you are for yours to become mobile. I should have known that my tree and train set wouldn’t walk away unscathed.
2: When the two year old’s mother is picking sticky stuff out of her hair, you start to understand that as they grow up, the habit doesn’t change, just the variety and amount of sticky left in your hair increases.
3: You are on your 6th showing of your sex & the city box set for the early am feeds
4: The delivery man who has delivered all your Christmas online shopping now looks surprised when he comes to the door and you have actual clothes on instead of pj’s.
5: You finally might get to use the port-a-cot in the corner, bought because it was number 2 on every baby “must have” list you saw. Number two my ass. How can you need a port-a-cot when you can no longer leave the house! But that is a whole different post.
6: Life with baby is a balancing act, so, new one hand food items for Mummy and Daddy now include: Crackers with some dip, yes this can be trained to be a one handed deal. Certain types of pasta and spaghetti. For Advanced one handers, try quiche, start with a spoon and work your way up to a fork. And for hardcore one handers begin venturing into the stir fry market. The ultimate Y.K.Y.A.P.W One Hander? Nasi Goreng with Chop Sticks while not only holding your baby, but feeding her as well.
7: You find out how many different colours (not shades, colours) baby poo is available in.
8: You get your first photos with Santa. They take ten photos and in all the ones where Santa doesn’t have his eyes closed (leaving about two) your baby has his beard in her mouth.
9: You catch a cold from your baby and then in a fit of desperation find the only thing to make her laugh on a day when she is sick and cranky is to hoist her up in the air and play “touch snotty noses” bopping her on her nose with yours. Oh to be four months old again…
10: You no longer have the newest baby in your circle of friends. You now start asking Where did my little newborn go and where did this little adult come from?
