One of the most surprising parts of parenthood for me so far is sleep. Not the sleep they tell you about, or lack there of, but what happens when you do in fact get to close your eyes.
We spend so long during our days caring for our newborns, loving them, feeding them, getting them to sleep, holding them.. the works, so it’s no wonder that the caring doesn’t stop when we go to sleep. Every night for the first few weeks of our daughters settling in at home I would dream about holding her and feeding her, doing the general things or even being in bed just laying in the same position, but whilst holding our little girl. Sounds sweet I know, but then I wake up. In a few moments of mini terror, I enter panic mode as I notice my baby girl is suddenly not in my arms.
I remember saying to my husband over and over, “where’s the baby?”, “Have you got the baby?” … several times a night.
After a few more seconds I realize I am in bed, it’s ok, she is in her cot… but that does not help at the time I can assure you. When it happens I’m seconds away from looking under the bed and under the sheets thinking I have dropped her or lost her in the bedroom.
It makes for less than restful sleep.
It’s taken over a month now before I can say I only have these dreams a few times a week, you’d think it wouldn’t last this long but for me, it has. It’s the things like this they don’t tell you about.
